ever glade

where will you go

for as long as i can think i have adored hot weather, especially when the heat comes with plenty of humidity. i do not really enjoy pure sunshine, i prefer the clouds, the fog, the rain, the storms, the nights.

the hotter it gets, the more rain and fog i’d order if the weather was a restaurant. with the heat, everything seems to slow down while expanding at the same time. that crawlingly expanding effect of heat is what makes me love it so much. there are some animals who seem to love that weather too. amongst are alligators, snakes, and bugs. those i love.

can you hear those bugs too, how they talk and communicate? hot weather makes it easy to melt and dissolve into a flora and fauna; to be in a communicative frequency with those very beings. running around in cities and stressing of being a highly proficient citizen erases such an ability very fast – at least for me.

it is a very common question: where will you go when you die? though, you do not need to go anywhere when you die. you are being taken care of. it will take you, it will make you fly, it will make you expand, or multiply, or disappear, who knows. i don’t, i just imagine. yet, i wonder about my body. i grew up learning that the body i live in is “my” body, it seems that i have somehow the right of it, always.

the world, that i was born into, wants human beings to be intellectually intelligent. rationality is the right way to go. decisions, actions, or reactions, that cannot be identified as rationally reasonable, are usually not tolerated. they have no space to exist in the common reality. so please let me die, that i do not underlay this one-sided thinking, this one-sided common reality, anymore. 

if i am the owner of my body and have to right to decide, i prefer not to own it. especially not once the angel of death invites me to lean on its shoulder. let the bugs eat it, or the snakes or the alligators. let the bush fire burn it, let the waters swallow it. but please, leave me alone, for when i am dead, so that i can be free of your rationality and travel where ever my heart will take me.